21 April 2006

J. Lo And The Blockheads

If I were the usual cine-pundit, I'd preface this entry with some glib remark about "the dearth of creativity in Hollywood", lament the end of the 1970s, and urge you all to check out the nearest Elem Klimov retrospective. I won't (since I'm actually excited about "Silent Hill" this weeekend and most of the summer movie schedule) but hopefully most of you will understand how depressed I am that production on the long-rumoured "Dallas" movie is a "go". The trades announced today who will shoot J.R. (sorry): "Bend It Like Beckham"s Gurinder Chadha will direct John Travolta (as J.R.) and J. Lo. (as Sue Ellen) in this 20th Century Fox production (this, if anything, explains why they haven't become "21st Century Fox") that will erupt into theatres in 2007 accompanied by the olfactory assault of oils natural (black gold) and man-made (nacho cheese, olestra). Presumably, this is a dramatic adaptation, and not a lampoon ala "Starsky And Hutch", which is too bad, since I suppose if they were to cast someone like David Cross as "Bobby", Robert Forster as "Jock", Isla Fisher as "Lucy" and hire Mitch Hurwtiz as screenwriter I might be persuaded to check it out.

Now, is it just me showing my age here, or can there be a sizeable portion of the still-theatregoing demographic that actually thinks this is a good idea, when "Watchman" repeatedly stalls, Brian DePalma has to go to France for financing, and the recent screen efforts of Travolta and Lopez have grossed have failed to gross collectively even a fraction of "Ice Age 2"s opening afternoon? Confession: I never watched a single episode of the nighttime soap during its epic run, so most of the nostalgia for its characters and catch-phrases is lost on me--save for the "SNL" parody that got the late Charles Rocket fired.

Chanda is reportedly attached to the "I Dream of Jeannie" feature as well--guess she's got a thing for Larry Hagman...